MagnifiCat

My Early Life

Sorry... My fault, as usual, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa....

My early life seems to have gone awol.
Thinking this over, it's clearly some kind of avoidant behaviour.
I don't want to say any more at all. Separation from my mother came so pitifully early.
Old pain ? Not exactly. Somebody said, a long time ago, you can't step into the same river twice...
Which is a very silly and almost meaningless statement. Think about it...
Same river as what ? Last year ? Three seconds ago ? If you can't step into it twice, neither can anyone else and it never is the same river.
So he was wrong. Philosophers often are. They have fancy names,live in Cloud Cuckoo Land,write in Ancient Greek/gobbledegook... People think their idiotic pronouncements must be true, because a philosopher said it.

More things in heaven and earth, I'd say, and, since this is my life, nobody else's, I'll decide how many things are necessary...
Leaving my mother, never seeing her again... Of course it changed my life, and no, I can't move on. CBT therapy, the latest happy pills, pulling myself together and whatever the global shrink industry comes up with next. All are different ways of telling lies, making therapists rich and famous.

The truth is infinitely cheaper and deeply unpopular, because it won't make anyone rich or cure my sadness.
Fact :
My mother's health was failing, skin and bone, weight absolutely falling off her, despite all the Whiskas, sardines, pilchards, line-caught dolphin-adoring tuna and free-range chicken she could eat.
She had cancer. Inoperable... The man asked, the vet said it would be cruel...
No chemo...No losing her beautiful fur. No 'lines' going anywhere, in or out.
No agonising about opium eating. Dying of cancer, morphine's for pain relief.
She died, the day after we were taken away.

Baby weight ? Listen to me, you fat slobby bone-idle whinging human mothers... THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BABY WEIGHT.
None of this obscene, gloopy, wobbling adipose tissue is attached to the baby.
(Almost none, but if the human)baby has the sheer bad luck to belong to a woman wailing about her 'baby weight', watch this space)

How to prevent Baby Weight
Dead easy, no need for a book...
Have kittens (or a baby, I suppose, if you must, though they really are ugly and useless little things)
Feed kittens.(or baby, see above)
Feed kittens/baby again.And again.
Do this round the clock, day after day, week after week, until the kittens/baby don't want any more.
Baby weight ? Real mothers, cats or any other kind, end up bones (and fur) held together by skin.
This BABY WEIGHT nonsense really has to stop...
Shut up, stop telling lies, especially to yourself.
Women who've had a baby and are still FAT are just FAT because they have eaten too much.Blaming a helpless baby for your (disgusting, blubbery etc) WEIGHT is a LIE and nothing to do with the baby. Feed baby. Problem solved/never there in the first place.
On a mother cat, any remaining post-kitten FAT goes into kittens. Takes them from blind and mewling to enchanting and irresistible in six weeks flat.
House trained, articulate, independently mobile...
Which is more than you can say for the miserable puking, stinking and squawling human version at six weeks, six months, six years...
Things improve, briefly, then they turn into teenagers.
English isn't my first language. I don't know any printable words to describe 16 year old homo sapiens, either sex. Or 13, 14, or any age between ten and three and twenty..
Clue, just for interest.. Mother cats smack. Social workers can't stop us.